Fun Hurts!

I’m struggling to come up with a plan for this one. Because I can hardly imagine a more uneventful day than this, and if I stay on point, then the whole story will probably fit into a single paragraph. But I’m gonna do my best to inflate it a little.

In a nutshell, I pulled my inner Dylan Johnson, in a sense of executing a nearly perfect race, but then finishing in the same Nth place as the day before (8th and 7th are the new 16-17th). The struggle is real.

Eating wins races (maybe, eventually)

I’ll skip the morning dump routine, and go straight to breakfast. Finally, I’ve figured that one out. Kudos to the shithole we were staying at for presenting me with a challenge I needed so much. See, I’m not a picky person. I laugh when I say that. No, I’ll take it back. I’m extremely demanding and hypercritical. If things don’t match my highest standards I’ll be bitching about them all day long. But I’d still work with what I’ve been dealt and will be perfectly fine. So, I'm grumpy, yet low maintenance. Breakfast is no exception.

In a perfect world a hotel should serve a hot oatmeal. And in my experience — that’s already high above the average. So, I can hope for it, but can’t really expect.

On a solid second place would be quick oats. Put one in a bowl, pour hot water, and we’re golden. This winter we were staying in Kremmling where they had all that, but no bowls, only tea cups. See what I’m dealing with here?

Digging further down the virtual rating of bumholes that I tend to spend my nights at when I travel. The third option would be bringing my own quick oats, so that all I need would be a few ounces of hot water. Which is a fairly minimal thing you can expect, giving that it’s necessary to make a cup of tea anyway. Right? Well, the word “tea” in this highly rhetorical question is a clue.

Well, what used to be a rock bottom now has been smashed by the Econo Lodge. No hot water for you! Shocking (is it though?). At least they had shitty toast bread and crappy smucker’s. Whatever, carbs are carbs. But from now on, I’ll start bringing my own bread and jam. Because I have a hunch, that a worse place exists and one day I’ll find it.

Madison

After https://funhurts.cc/la-grind-may-3-4-2025 I had no chances moving up overall, because the gap to the top of the field was whopping 20 minutes. But I had a few things to prove to myself (which I think I did, despite finishing behind all the same guys once again). And I was really looking forward to the second day of racing. Legs were on board with that.

We rolled out in a big front group of… I don’t really know, 30-40 riders, I guess. First 26 miles (42 km) we just rolled like that. Fun, right? Pace was decent, but nothing crazy yet. You’d still want to stay close to the front in case any punches are being thrown. That's what I did and that's why my estimate of the group size might be off. But apparently, the writing was on the wall where the first big attack is meant to happen, I just didn’t do my homework.

After rolling through the little town of Madison we hit the short (by CO standards) steep cobbled climb, where people started to put their hammers down. Stuff like that is right in my wheelhouse, so I had no issues making the first selection and staying with the front group of a dozen riders.

Road M

Between Madison and Olpe it would probably be a dumb idea to make any moves. First, because there’s still plenty of miles to go. Second, there’s a good chance of being slowed down by the cross traffic when you go through the town, and losing everything you worked so hard for. Hence, everyone’s staying “chill”. Chill enough to keep the gap from the chasing group wide open. Until we hit the M road, and that’s where racing starts. Guys were attacking left and right. Two dudes in some green team jerseys were trying to play a team card and timing their attacks one after another. In 15 minutes of havoc we’ve lost half the group. Six of us survived. I was hanging on for my dear life, but still in the mix.

But I was absolutely on the limit. And that perhaps was the key factor in what happened next. I’m not saying it wasn’t a skill issue as well, but the utter fatigue was what got me. With 6 miles (10 km) left to go we hit a 90 degree turn and I fuck everything up. When I already passed the apex and was exiting the turn, I lost my frond wheel and hit the deck. Not too hard, so I got back up like a bouncy ball. Just like a day before, the whole stop didn't even take long. I twisted my left hood back to where it should be and got back on the bike so quickly that my wahoo didn’t even auto-pause the recording. Like, three seconds?! But that was enough. The train was gone, and I was left behind. “Three seconds that destroyed three hours of hard work” could make a good title.

Rolled in solo in 7th. Could’ve sprinted for 2nd. What can you do? Rest, switch to mountain biking for a while, relive the experience by writing a blog post about it, train, try again. Now when the step 3 is done, I’ll go for another ride. It’s Friday after all.